A few weeks ago you might remember that I wrote about some of my deepest fears concerning God, fears that God will call me to do things I hate, that he is disappointed in me, that he wants me to be someone I am not. Over the break, I took a day off from working and had the chance to reflect on this further and spend some time in prayer and in the Word. And I came to this passage:
"We know how much God loves us and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God and God lives in them. And as we live in God our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in the world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first." (1 John 4:16-19)God is love, he loves us perfectly, and perfect love expels fear. So if I am loved perfectly by God, I should have no reason to fear. I finally got to this point after reading over 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter) and substituting "God" for "love" (God is love, thus God=Love and can be substituted). This ended up in my journal:
God is patient. He does not get frustrated and give up on me.
God is kind. He does not act out of spite. He does not seek to make my life hard or miserable.
God does not envy. He is not threatened by my love for others. He does not seek to isolate me. He wants me to have deep relationships with other people.
God does not boast. What he says is true. He does not seek to belittle.
God is not proud. Again, he seeks a true view. He seeks to develop humility in us; He does not take pleasure in humiliating us.
God is not rude. Think of how you expect to be treated by a good friend who you know wants the best for you. God will not treat you worse than they would.
God is not self-seeking. He seeks the absolute best for me. He needs nothing; he lives in total abundance. I am a constant recipient of his grace and generosity.
God is not easily angered. He is not mad or upset with me.
God keeps no record of wrongs. God is not disappointed in me. I have been covered by the blood of Christ.
God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God is not spiteful. He does not seek to hurt me. God seeks truth. He wants to reveal who I was truly made to be.
God always protects. He wants me to take refuge in Him, to feel safe in Him. He is not out to wound me. He wants to care for me.
God always trusts. He knows my heart and intentions.
God always hopes. He sees all that I can be and works to help me realize my full potential for his glory. He has planned out incredible works for me to do since before the beginning of time (Eph 2:10). He looks forward to bing glorified in me.
God always perseveres. He will not stop until he's done. He will not give up on me.
God never fails. He will keep his promises. He will not screw up. He will not hurt me. He will not abandon me. He will always be good, He will always be generous, and He will always be trustworthy.
God wants to shower his love upon me. There is nothing to fear.Photo taken by Kara Haberstock, June 2011, all rights reserved